Yukon Lead A Horse To Water

Randy Brososky – Lester Field

Peter Brown – Chester Field

Jesse Gervais – Cyrus Lane

Jason Hardwick – Sylvester (Sly) Field

Kristi Hansen – Myrtle Wordle

Nikki Hulowski – Madame HoneyKarat

Cody Porter – Major “Goldie” Bullion

Cayley Suliak – Alma Grass

Joel Taras – Holden Strong

Kirsten Throndson – Calliope Jenkins

Lindsey Walker – Esther Field

Stephanie Wolfe – Lady Lou

“Yukon Lead A Horse To Water”

ACT 1

Sylvester meets up with his brother, Lester Field, who has just returned from hiding out in the woods for two weeks. Lester took the fall for the shooting of Billy Miner, but it wasn’t him! And guess what else? There’s one more Field brother in town- Holden Strong!

Holden runs into Lady Lou at Major Goldie Boullion’s house- what is she doing there? She lies to keep her relationship with Goldie a secret and says that she’s his personal concierge. Well that’s perfect, because Major Boullion owes Holden. All of a sudden, Mme Honey Karat enters- does Lady Lou recognize her from all of those years ago? Did Lady Lou leave Honey in the lurch? Honey is in town to open a brothel, and she doesn’t need her older sister’s help!

Myrtle Wordle is denying loan applications and chatting with her fiancé, Lester Field. Lester wants to talk about his mother and what they are going to do about her. Myrtle isn’t worried about Mama- she loves vaguely enough that it feels threatening somehow. “Leave it to me,” she opines.

Esther Field goes to see Goldie. She’s incredibly disappointed by all of her sons. She wants Goldie to do something about it. He can’t kill anyone- that isn’t his style! Esther offers him gold to “get rid of the women temptresses” that have a stronghold over her sons. In a series of role-playing exercises, Goldie Boullion practices how he will annoy Calliope, Myrtle, and Lady Lou.

Cyrus knows about Calliope’s weapons and martial arts prowess. He comes to her with the desire to “win this town”, starting with its weakest link: Chester Field. They will train him to become a fighter. Cyrus leans in to his personal power as the “Master Baiter”, expert of the “Ménage à moi”.

Chester runs into Alma Grass and startles her. She thinks he shot Billy Miner. What’s he going to do now that he’s back in town? Chester says that he will turn himself in. Too bad the Mountie isn’t here this week! Instead, he decides to adopt a “mad-dog” alter ego. Alma says that she’ll help him. They create an alliance, and adopt new names: Bulldog and Maul. But who’s lurking in the shadows? Holden Strong has been listening this whole time, and thinks that they should BOTH go to jail!!

Myrtle Wordle meets with Goldie Boullion. Immediately, Myrtle knows what this meeting is about: “Who do I gotta kill?”, she asks. Goldie, as usual, wants to talk money first. Goldie states that there is ONE too many Fields- but which one should go? One of them is off limits, presumably her fiancé, Lester.

Lester converses with the squeaky stool. Is the stool worth fixing? Is HE worth fixing?  

Sylvester asks Calliope for advice about Chester. She admits that Sylvester’s temper can be scary sometimes, but he says he could learn to control it if they got married. Sly sings a song: “The Spark of Our Love”, and is finally calm. Perhaps they will finally get to go on their engagement picnic…

We see the end of a 14-minute long opera piece by Esther Field. Everyone is there listening. Madame Honey Karat speaks up following the performance- she sees right through Esther. “You’re new, but I’m old”, says Esther- the game is on. Is Esther losing her power over the town? The town split into two factions: Sylvester, Esther, Cyrus, Goldie, Lady Lou vs. the others.  Time to make a plan- but Major Boullion leaves.

Chester, Lester, Honey, Myrtle, Calliope, Holden, and Alma meet to discuss Honey’s new brothel. Chester reveals his new nickname to the group: “Bulldog”. Alma and Holden could have a bright future in Honey’s house of ill repute, and Alma will front the business with her secret stash of gold.

Lester and Myrtle continue their streak of vague intimacy. She knows where this is going to lead, but Lester doesn’t can’t do it again. Myrtle wants to play again for her birthday! “But does it have to be THAT game?”

Cyrus and Sylvester vie for Calliope’s loyalty. Sylvester is devastated by Calliope’s alliance with the “other side” of the town. Sylvester’s allegiance obviously lies with his Mommy. Calliope doesn’t want to pick a side, so Cyrus suggests that she plays both sides- a good little spy, a dirty little mole, if you will.

ACT 2

Chester comes to see Calliope in her weapons shed. He needs some help becoming a tough guy. She teaches him a little bit of martial arts that will “fuck him up”. Chester unleashes his newfound toughness on unsuspecting community members.

Lester, Myrtle, Honey, and Alma meet at the brothel to engage in some extracurricular activities. They divide themselves into couples- Myrtle and Alma take off, and Lester stays back to talk with Honey. Honey thinks that they could “do well together”.

Esther and Sylvester argue. Sylvester wants to know if he is truly Mommy’s favourite, but ever since Holden has been revealed as her son, he has climbed the rankings. Sylvester might not even be second or third-favourite!! Well, he’s definitely not last. That’s Chester. Sylvester flies into a blind rage and chokes his mother; “Mother! I hate you!”.

Holden tells Cyrus that he’s having a tough time these days. Cyrus offers to wrassle. “DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH POWER YOU HAVE?” he asks. Cyrus tells Holden: “You are my weapon now”.

Alma and Myrtle are out of breath from their activities. Everything is SO HOT all around! The corset that Alma is wearing makes them want to do more, but if they do more, Alma will have to pay. A brothel’s a business, after all.

Major Goldie and Lady Lou are drunk in love! They speak of the divide in the town. Maybe they should open a competing brothel? No! Lady Lou thinks that she might turn her business toward the church. Goldie is not supportive. Yelling ensues. Honey Karat heard them from two doors down. The sisters discuss their plans.

Chester and Alma are at a bit of an impasse. Alma is working at the brothel- is that okay with Chester “Bulldog”? Is he too intimidating? Can he become even MORE intimidating? Alma might love Myrtle, but emotions are complicated. Chester and Alma agree on “conditional”, “flinching” love between them.

Lester and Honey are disheveled following their encounter. “Love is for the stupid, wicked, pure of heart,” exclaims Honey. She suggests that Lester become a male prostitute for her brothel. Lester might not be ready to be married, he seems to have fallen in love.

Lady Lou, Calliope, and Myrtle run into each other on the street. They say so much with so few words… “YOU? You! Yooooooou.” The only scene in the whole show to pass the Bechdel test.

Cyrus has been watching Sylvester choking Esther. Tensions are high! But they are blood- should they not be on the same side? They take a moment to calm down. Cyrus tells them to mutually choke each other to get over their issues. There is a confession in this moment: Sylvester changes allegiances and exclaims: “Boobies for all!” God help us.