It’s a Dry Gold
The Residents of Muskrat Creek
Esther Field (Lindsey Walker) - elderly schoolmarm, who has taken a vow of silence
Sylvester Field (Jason Hardwick) - her son, town undertaker
Chester Field (Peter Brown) - her other son, misses the old Muskrat Creek
Cyrus Lane (Jesse Gervais) - broken hearted widower
Major Goldie Bullion (Cody Porter) - The Baron, coal miner, owner of Crooked Fang Saloon
Billy Minor (Ellie Heath) - his bartender with a heart of gold
Alma Grass (Caley Suliak) - Abandoned maid, cleans the whole town
Lady Lou Quigley (Stephanie Wolfe)- Owner of Lady Lou’s Saloon
Myrtle Wordle (Kristi Hanson) - Wealthy Entrepreneur
Rev. Jebediah (Chris Bullough) - A Reverend.
Justice Forrell (Randy Brososky) - Bounty Hunter
Dr Thaddeus Buckley (Joel Taras) - A Doctor with a shady past
Annabelle (Kelly Turner) - runaway acolyte
Vlad Impala (Breck Wiltshire) - Transylvanian immigrant with a sun allergy
Director: Jake Tkaczyk
Music: Paul Morgan-Donald
Producer: Nicole Thibault
Synopsis: Jim Cej
Technical Magic: Olivia Bogaard
Act I
After the duel, Myrtle and Sylvester talk in a side street. There’s usually a body to chop up, butter this time there isn’t. His fingerprints are on Myrtle’s neck. Who shot Major Bullion? That’s going to change the town. Things are getting more difficult to get to Esther.
Calliope and Chester share a hospital bed. He has a lot of questions. Dr Buckley doesn’t like what he hears listening to Chester’s chest. He answers some of his questions. Chester was shot in the chest and it bounced off his liver and hit his kidney. Luckily, he has a tincture for that. Calliope wakes up and also has a lot of questions. Dr Buckley gives Chester some children’s chewable coca.
JJ wants to get Esther back to her house without anyone noticing.He’s kind of big shot around here now with an awesome story line. She asks if they can get married and start fresh. She’s been an amazing gal and the sex has been incredible, but he doesn’t really know who he is right now. She’s pregnant and it’s his. She’s always wanted a family. She has no one and needs his love and hands in this together. He doesn’t know if he’s ready to settle down. Say no more. She’s been alone all these years. She’s shocked to see her sister Polly in her room, in her favourite chair. She should have know it was hers. It’s uncomfortable. She thought Polly had died in that shipwreck. Polly floated. Esther wishes she could stay, but she’s sure that she must go. Polly reminds her what they say, family always has a place that you can stay for as long as they like.
Justice meets Sgt Benson. So, you’re the law in this town. And you’re a bounty hunter. Tumbleweeds roll by. There’s no need that they can be at odds. He’s only there to take care of someone that Burnaby isn’t. Who is it? Bullion. The Wolf Man that’s pooping on people’s doorsteps. What do you know about Sylvester Field? His family covers up for each other. When you don’t have evidence, the light go down on your scene.
Vlad visits the Major in his hospital bed. He is lonely. It is very difficult to come all this way overseas to the Yukon. He doesn’t want to die alone. With Lady Lou gone, The Major thinks this town has lost its lustre. Billy comes to visit, and introduces Vlad as his cousin, though Vlad felt more like his brother. Especially after all that correspondence that the Major didn’t answer.
Alma finds Sylvester searching for Calliope. He asks if she has seen his wife. Not since Calliope started her weapon shed. Alma cries. He has helped her on so many ways, especially in times like these. She needs a hug. He has never felt this way before. Myrtle is shocked to find them in each other’s arms.
Chester paces the hospital room, feeling the effects of his chewable coca. This is hell to Calliope.
Polly asks if Esther’s scarf is collecting unemployment, because it’s not working for her. It’s difficult for her to say, but Polly needs her help. Remember the last time we spoke? It was after Mother’s funeral and I asked YOU for help. What do you need from her. Some social lubrication. I need to be introduced to him. Polly needs a second opinion. Of course, but I need something in return. It starts with the letter M and rhymes with girder.
The Major needs some help. He needs Billy to take over the family business as the town mayor until nr gets better. They change hats. And he needs help from Vlad to help get vengeance on Esther. Justice asks what he means by ’vengeance”.
Myrtle opens her suitcase and pulls out a pickaxe. Sylvester says that it’s his fault. He took advantage of a moment of Alma’s weakness. He thought that Alma was Calliope. He tells Alma to go with it. He didn’t mean to step between her and Alma.He knows what it’s like to lose love. Myrtle says that he has access to a lot of bodies. Alma grabs the pickaxe to attack Myrtle. Sylvester cries out NO and steps between them.
JJ is getting really good energy from Polly and Esther. This talk of murder is exquisite. He wants what they want. Polly whispers in JJ’s ear. He chokes himself.
Act II
The pickaxe flies through the air. Sylvester cries out, OW!
Calliope wants out of her hell. Chester asks what happened to her. She has been wronged by his brother. There’s only one left! What did that literal son of a bitch do? He strangled her. What do you want me to do, I will help you. Please, don’t be a forgiver. Will you…? Yes, whatever you want. We need to have super complicated and low stakes plot to give him low self esteem. His Hair! We’re going to mess with his hair! That seems about right for strangling someone.
JJ lies unconscious on the bed. Polly learned that it Winnipeg. JJ wakes up and is frightened by Polly. She sends him out on a fool’s errand for a flower.
The Major tells Billy to keep a low profile. He needs a way to reduce Esther’s strength. How? You can sit on them! Justice can see that they’ve never concocted a plot. They all stop to listen to what he says. He tells Billy to talk like the Major does, to be like him. “I’m the mayor of this here town.” Billy won’t survive this if he bends over like Calliope.
Sylvester and Myrtle are in hospital bed, stuck on each side of the pickaxe. Dr Buckley has some concerns about the fluid around Myrtle’s heart. It sounds flat. He has to get the biggest needle and suck to out through the perineum. Alma rushes in. She knows who to triage first. Myrtle.
The procedure goes well, and Alma runs to Burnaby to conduct a police report. He is forced to arrest her. She accepts her fate. She stabbed her new friend and the love of her life.
Myrtle and Sylvester are asleep in the hospital bed. Chester and Calliope sneak in to exact their revenge. She tells her sleeping husband that she hates him. They go to work on his hair.
Vlad follows Polly to Esther’s house. He is surprised that they can see him. Polly is the most beautiful thing that he has ever see. Esther asks what about her? He is attracted by everything about Polly. Everyone always likes Polly best. Esther asks what he wants. He is there to drain Esther’s blood. What? Isn’t Polly’s blood good enough.
He guesses that he can take both of their blood. Yes! And then tell us which one you like best. Esther’s blood squirts into his eye. They are both very good.
Chester and Calliope finished their magic on Sylvester. Myrtle wakes up. They heard someone on their room. Myrtle pulls out the pickaxe.
Alma prays to JJ or the Lord or the acting community. Justice enters her cell. He has a bit of a favour to ask from her. Someone has been eluding him. Do you know the Fields? I know them well-ish. She thinks she might know where he is. He can leave the cell door open. Burnaby finds Justice in her cell. She is free to go after 24 hours. But it hasn’t been 24 hours. He shows Burnaby his bounty. It assures cooperation by the police. As soon as he finds Alma’s victims, he’ll bring her back. Alma locks them in the call.
Dr Buckley looks after Polly and Esther’s wounds. Polly is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. This is so refreshing for her. People don’t “see” her. He asks if Esther is pregnant. He can be its step uncle. Are you asking so you can bone my sister? Well, is that an option? Polly says that she has gotten rather strange diagnosis from another doctor. She needs to have her hysteria removed. They used to treat that is a rather special way. They have these devices that shake and rattle on their own. Like a windup toy for children? Yes, and after hours and hours of that, its lessens their hysteria.
The Major and Billy work on Billy’s public speaking skills. They find JJ listening. Billy tells JJ to come here to speak to him. The Major grabs JJ’s hands from behind, and Billy shoots them both in crotch.
Hours and hours later, Polly doesn’t think that the windup toy got all her hysteria. Well, that’s what tomorrow is for. Is this heaven? Most of his patients ask if this is hell. She is a slice of heaven herself. He kisses her.
Myrtle hold the pickaxe high. They convince Myrtle that they didn’t do anything to her. She loved Chester’s brother. Sylvester wakes up abs sees his reflection, screams, and faints. Chester asks what Myrtle will do now. Finds her girl.
Alma and Esther find Billy and the shot men. Esther thinks that it’s Karma after what JJ did to her. JJ grabs Alma’s gun and is still looking for the flower. Billy directs him to look near the river. Esther and Alma force him to the river. A shot ring out and he falls into the river.
Dr Buckley and Vlad both try to woo Polly. The doctor says the she is in quarantine and needs some treatment. Vlad shouldn’t touch her while she is being treated. He thanks the doctor for treating her. He’ll do his best and treat her over and over again. Whatever is takes to keep her alive. Vlad thinks that he may be missing some subtext. Vlad owes the doctor his life. She will see Vlad in couple months. The doctor is jealous. Good luck treating your own hysteria. She tries treating herself until she passes out. How did that make you feel.
Polly is at the Pearly Gates. Her last wish is that her sister has a happy and healthy baby.
Calliope visits Sylvester, alone in his hospital bed. In his sleep, he talks in his sleep to his mother. Calliope grabs a pillow. He mumbles heknew that his mother would come to see him. Calliope smothers her husband with a pillow.
Photos by Janna Hove
