ACT 1

Polly, the new sponsor of the “Helping Hands” discusses that she wants a say about how the show is run with Melvin and Sidney. They discuss crossover show episode of Thirst Trap Island and Helping Hands.

In the Green Room, Chet Quarterback meets with Sweetin Noccent. Chet yearns to learn as much he can from her. He knows if he doesn’t do better, he’ll be replaced. Chet to Sweetin Noccent to teach him his ABC’s. Wilma sneaks in the hope that she can teach him a few tricks herself. Sweetin tells Wilma she wants to teach Chet in her own way.

Sidney meets with Wilma to discuss the new crossover show. He comes seeking advice from Wilma on how execute a crossover and get what he wants. Sparks begin to fly. In their flirtation he flashes back to his days of experimentation with the kinky. He’s into neck rubs and meets a young Melvin who has a talent for pole dancing. Back in the present day, Sidney and Wilma continue to flirt and agree to meet for dinner.

On the set of Helping Hands, Chet Quarterback is filming his first segment where he counts to 12 with some coaching with Melvin. With some difficulty almost able make the count while being filmed. At the climax (just after 11 and before 12) Wilber bursts in to steal Chet’s thunder and counts with ease. A fight breaks out and Chet beats up Wilbur.

Back in the Green Room, Sweetin Noccent fantasizes what it would be like starring on Thirst Trap Island. She’s enters a fantasy surrounded by men with strange, unrecognizable accents. The fantasy morphs into a nightmare as her insecurities about being a nerd creep in and consume her mind.

Melvin goes to Sidney’s office to discuss a brawl that broke out on the set between Wilbur and Chet Quarterback. Wilbur is in the ICU and Chet scratched his finger. They are worried about WCB and rising expenditures. Sidney wants Melvin to convince Chet to look past his injury and apologize to Wilbur.

Sidney goes to visit Wilbur at Middletown hospital. Sidney drops by to check in. Wilber threatens to sue DNTV Studios. Sydney sings to Wilbur about how he can make things better and not to sue. At the end of the rousing song, Wilbur is not convinced.

Chet and Melvin meet on set to debrief on the fight. Melvin hopes to help cool things off. Chet regrets pantsing Wilber for exposing his winky. He laments and desires to go visit Wilber in the hospital. Melvin asks how many times Chet will apologize. Chet, on his own, counts to 5.

Chet goes to the Middletown Hospital to apologize to Wilber 5 times. Wilbur is terrified and angry that Chet showed his winky. Chet accidentally pants while trying to apologize Wilber during his visit.

ACT 2

Melvin meets with the entire cast for sensitivity training. Sidney was excused, but eventually shows up for solidarity with the gang. The training devolves into a synonym session for the word “winky.” Melvin is cool with everyone using the words but urges them all to just not expose themselves. The cast discovers that Chet has a lot of money (with his lube endorsement deal). Sidney has an idea to fund the flailing TV network.

Wilma and Sidney go on a date at Pizza Hut (where else would we go?!). Sidney tells Wilma that DNTV is in trouble. He looks to gain support for the show. He hatches a plot to get Wilma to convince Wilbur not to sue.

Swetin Noccent and Chet Quarterback work together to count to 12. While counting, he finds a number that triggers his emotions. Chet expresses that he’s dumb and looks for comfort from Swetin Noccent. They have a beautiful and tender moment together.

Wilbur is on the mend at Middletown Hospital and Wilma drops by in hopes that she can convince him not to sue with some motorboat action. Wilbur is still upset that that he was exposed once again by Chet. Wilma and Wilbur draw the hospital bed curtains and…y’know.

In an Instagram Live, Melvin attempts to do a Lube commercial. Elon Musk, Applebees, His Mom, and one other lady are the only audience. Everyone is looking for Chet on the feed. Lube-X is the new sponsor. Melvin is disappointed that helping hand is losing an audience to Thirst Trap Island. Helping Hands has booked a wild card (and not ideal) guest star Kim Kardashian, when they had a chance at guest star Angela Lansbury (who just won’t return their calls). Melvin hopes to see Helping Hands in its former glory.

Wilbur returns after recovery from the hospital and has decided not to sue. The cast of helping hands gather to sing, “That’s My Winky - Not Yours.” Chet quarterback reaches his dreaming of becoming part of a Canadian Heritage Moment.

Sidney sweats at his desk writing a letter to Wilma. He reads it….out loud. He expresses his love for their motor boating and foot fetish. He wants Wilma to be the star of the crossover show. He expresses his undying love for Wilma, a love he never got from his family. He places the letter on his desk, picks up his phone, and tells his mother that he loves her.